25.11.07

Controlled Luck!

Fingers crossed.

How true is it, that if you really want to fulfill your personal desire, the whole universe will conspire to help make it happen? Coz, if it’s so, then there’s something that I desire for, at the moment. Something that I’ve been strongly wishing for, for the past 3 years. Something that’s been my strongest desire in my life until now. And I want to know, if the whole world is conspiring at all.

This philosophy, which I came across in the Alchemist (one of the many books, which I havent managed to complete so far), has got me thinking. And at times, it makes me believe in it. The way my life’s moving and things are happening, I have no choice but to believe in it. I’ve tried all that I can, to give up on my wish. My desire. Knowing I’m asking for too much. Forcing myself to believe that it ain’t gonna work. But something or the other happens, and voila! Am back to square one. Just not able to let my dream go. Yearning for it to happen.

I have no choice but to believe, that the world does seem to be conspiring. Because, why else would I find myself in a dilemma, every time I let it go? And then on cloud 9, every time it’s back with me? Why does all this force me to believe that it means something. That probably it’s meant to be. And how I love to believe it does! Coz I strongly feel so!

There’s nothing about it that tells me to think twice. Or to move on. But almost everyting about it asks me to just hang on. Hold on for a while. Like everything’s soon gonna fall in place. Everything’s happening for the good. Something keeps telling me not to stop trying. The further I try moving away from my desire, the more I’m being pulled back to it. And that’s when I decide to give in. And to let the best happen. Coz I know, that what I wish for, is true. And hope, that when I wish from the bottom of your heart, the whole universe will conspire to help make it happen.

Fingers crossed.

6.11.07

Keep Walking!

There was a time when I thought being in school and studying Math and Science took away all the fun that ought to be there in my life. I still believe so to a certain extent. If not for those nerve wrecking exams, I would have spent all my childhood watching TV, playing hide and seek or just sleep. Life would have been so beautiful then. I would look at how the baby next door gazed at blank spaces and laughed and envied her and her freedom! Lucky she! I would say. No exams, no books no nothing. She’s always carried around by someone. She cries when hungry and there’s food. Cries when sleepy and someone’s singing and putting her to sleep. Not fair!

And then the exams just pass by, (pun unintended) and you think that’s the end of all your sorrows in life. A new ray of light has touched you and life is at its best for the next two months! And then, there you are back at your desk. Cursing your fate all over again. And in between all this, your parents walk behind you telling you how important it is for you to study and why fun needs to take a back seat. Oh c’mon! What do they know about the trauma you are going through!

You crib, cry, sulk and finally fly out of the so called prison into a whole new world called college. Life suddenly looks so different. No hard rules. No dress codes. It’s freedom all the way! But prick! Just when you began smiling in your dreams, there comes the most painful part of your life (again). The guy for whom you waited ALL your life. (No matter how many came into your life during that wait) You think God sent him down only so that he meets you, falls in love with and gets married to you. Of course buying expensive gifts come along. And just when you thought he is THE MAN (after rahul, sameer, naveen and Karthik) he tells your best friend how beautiful she looks! Life can be so unfair!

And after living through another traumatic phase of your life, you enter the corporate world. You become financially independent. Life now moves the way you want it to. You take your own decisions. Life isn’t so bad after all. Well, it wouldn’t have been. If not for the nasty, nagging, selfish tyrant called Boss! He knows exactly how to make life miserable. Work loads, deadlines, nightmares! Life’s nothing but a series of failures!

And the saga continues. At every stage of life, you come face to face with a problem which forces you to see the world coming to an end. When you feel so, it helps when you pause a while, turn back and count the number of times you’ve moved on. Or rather life’s moved on. Like my friend says, if you solved equations at the age of 12, meeting deadlines at 25 is no big deal.