Anybody there?

I wish someone could read my mind. I’ve had enough of expressing what I do not feel. And I’m so damn bad at it. I’m miserable when it comes to smiling outside when I’m crying with pain within. So the best thing I can do is, argue or look irritated. And yet not letting out what’s in.

I’ve had enough of asking myself what’s right for me. I’ve had enough of asking myself who I really am. And what I really deserve. People close to me show me the easiest way out. But isn’t that coz they love me and think I’m the best and so nothing bad can or should happen to me?

But how good am I really? Is what I do, always the right thing? Is that what I really want? If it involves two people, is it always that Im right and the other, wrong? Simply because Im chirpy and bubbly doesn’t mean Im also the cleanest soul? I can be wrong too, right? I so miss an unbiased advice sometimes.

And I don’t like to believe that I’m as good as people think I am. I sure have the devil hidden inside me. Who prompts me to take a few decisions? So, that makes me the bad one right? Somebody tell me I’m at fault. That I’m wrong. Don’t always say I did the right thing. We are not talking about the good guy and the bad guy here. We are talking about me and an equally or even better human being. So just because you’re my friend doesn’t mean I’m right? Does it? Sometimes what you think is the wrong advice may be the one I want to hear!

Let’s put an end to the blame game. And see what else can be done. Why are things not happening? Coz they’re not meant to? How funnier can that get? If not anything else, see how difficult it has been for me. And why they’ve been so. Try and see what’s been in my mind. And why I think the way I do? And then give me an answer. That’ll help me sleep in peace.

I wish people saw things the way I see them. The way I know them. And then perhaps they’d know what I want. Perhaps there’s no other way for me to be happy from within and outside. And that if I look fine today, it’s not because I’ve defined right and wrong. Its coz sometimes you just do what’s best for the rest.



I have been tagged yet again! This time by my cutest junior ever, neetu! I’m already late by couple of days. So before she hides her cuteness and shows me another side of hers, lemme get going! I wonder if I know so much about myself though.
So here goes:

Eight things I am passionate about:
1. My friends: No exaggerations here people. I’m serious. Anything for my friends. Hate to see them low and will do anything possible to keep the curve on their faces up!
2. My family: My world. People I can take for granted. Love them heaps and loads!
3. Kids: Hopefully it’ll remain the same when I have my own. Now, my niece is my own. And I love her to bits!!
4. Food: Trying to take it off from the list soon though. Coz it aint doing any good anyways. Just adding some extras here and there. But some things just can’t change.
5. Music: Fast ones, slow ones. Old ones. New ones. Native ones. Foreign ones. Music is any form, welcome!
6. Movies: Trying to get into the serious ones. But seems hard. My preference would be, the romantic, funny ones. I go awwww, every time I see the guy and girl kiss. ;)
7. My dreamz: By the window, gazing into nothing, with a faint smile, dreaming about the beautiful things that have or could happen.
8. My bed: Nothing like cuddling up on my bed, under the blanket on a cold rainy night.

Eight things I want to do before I die (In no particular order):
1. Become Mommy: Justified in the above list.
2. Become vegetarian: I tried, but need to gather a little more will power to stick on to it.
3. Fit into clothes I can never fit into now: For a few months will do. Just wanna know how I’d look in them.
4. Fulfill the dreams of kids who rarely dream: Or at least bring a smile on their faces and make sure they last forever.
5. Travel around the world: To start with, Kerala.
6. Be a known name in the field I excel: I really don’t know if it’ll continue to be advertising. So whatever it be, no more come what mays. I’d better be good at it!
7. Do something really wild, not bothered about the world: Any suggestions?
8. Learn to give it back to people when they hurt me: Some day! And then, leave none alone!

Eight things I say often:
1. Awww...soo cute!
2. Oh my god!!!!
3. Yummyy!!!
4. Hooooribble!
5. Really???
6. Ya right!!
7. Ohhhh Ok!!
8. Okie doks!!

Eight books I’ve read recently:
1. Blink
2. Kite Runner
3. Laughable Loves
4. The great Indian Novel
5. Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintanance
Can’t think of any other.

Eight songs I could listen to, over and over:
1. Pehala Nasha
2. Sacrifice
3. Nothing’s Gonna change my love for you
4. When you say nothing at all.
5. Hoshwaalo Ko Khabar Kya
6. Tum Itna Jo muskura rahe ho
7. Maula Mere Maula
8. Kabhi Kabhi Mere Dil Mein

Eight things that attracts me to my best friends:
1. Ears to my qualms and a shoulder to cry
2. No reason to laugh
3. They let me be myself
4. Just a call away
5. Talk about anything under the sun
6. Roam around
7. Genuineness
8. Sense and sensibility.

Eight people I think should do this tag
Cant think of 8!
1. Shynil
2. Umesh
3. Hari
4. Romila
5. Rahul
6. Vibin