It’s weird at times. Especially when you’re caught in the act. But once you’ve attained, what I would call a power, you can’t help but being caught. Because, when you put this power into use, what’s important is observation. And observation can at several instances be misinterpreted as staring. Call it whatever, I OBSERVE, every move, every gesture, every expression. And assume I have the power to read the language of body.
Puts me into trouble sometimes. No, not just when caught red handed. But when it stops you from thinking normally. Like when I asked Natasha what she thought of meeting up for lunch the following weekend. “Umm.Well I guess so.”, “Weekend? Not too sure babe”, “Sounds ok”, could have taken the conversation ahead, steering me away from a journey into my sub conscious mind. Ugh! What I hate most.
But my journey began.
No response. I prompt. “Hmmm?”
A slight nod denoting “Huh”?
I ask “Lunch? This weekend?”
Silence again. “Weekend…?”
“Busy?” I ask, beginning to stare*
“See, if it’s possible”
By now, I’ve reached half way through. Recollecting every gesture. Every expression. Besides the perfect reason being involved in work, I saw a lot more. And slipped into her mind. And here’s what I read. Call me illiterate. No hassles.
Me: What about lunch this weekend?
Natty: Hmm??(Oh shit! How do I say a no?)
Natty: Huh? (God!! God! Help!!)
Me: Lunch? This weekend?
Natty: (Ok, No I need to do something.) “Weekend?”
Natty: “Yeah…dunno. Maybe.” (No way can I make it)
“See, if it’s possible”
Prompt nod! (Whew! Escaped!)
A whole day hence, was spent within my sub-conscious self. Refreshing what I saw, learning her body language. Making attempts to come out, but in vain.
There were echoes through out. Strengthening the chapters I learnt. They all led to one conclusion. A silent body spoke a lot more. The mind speaks the most. And what you say is a continuation of what your mind talks.
Often, the line between blurting and speaking out goes unnoticed. When you blurt, there’s no dialogue happening within, it’s all on the outside. You speak out what’s been happening within. In a universal language, not learnt by many.
And no matter whether you talk or not, your body does. All the time. Whether you look up, down, take a deep breath; bite your lips, stretch, sit up, anything. And if you’ve learnt the language, everything says something to you. I haven’t. I just assume I’ve got a power. Like many others.
Puts me in trouble, coz, there’s no reference. Apart from experience of course. I’ve just acquired it. From no where.
But does it matter?
I give exams, evaluate and even fail. Miserably. But to myself. So it’s fine.
I do wish I never learnt it. At least it wouldn’t make me ponder. Or regret. Makes me see what I don’t want to. Shows me what they don’t want to.
But maybe someday I’ll see something I wished to. And then I’ll be glad.
So, I’ll wait. And keep staring.*
*Also read as observe/observing.