Are you sleeping?

Have you ever seen a dream and wished it never were one? You become so much a part of it, that when you wake up, you wonder which was the dream and what is real? And just as much as you wish the dream were real and it never got over, you know it were better off as a dream. Coz in reality, it would never happen. But then, as the day passes, every part of the dream follows you. You continue living each moment of the dream. It makes you feel good. You begin to wonder if it meant anything.

You hope it dies off wit time. But you also wish it didn't have to. It's weird what a dream can do to you.



I don't like it, when we don't speak.
I hate the silence, it makes me weak.
I know you're near, although so far.
But how I wish, I were the star,
That sees you smile, wherever you are.

I feel alone, amidst a crowd.
I cry at night, wishing you were around.
A fear within says will something go wrong.
But a voice assures, it'll soon be morn.
And with you, I'll be a whole life long.

I see your face, I read your mind.
I hear you say, a way we'll find.
It's you I seek, when I feel low.
It's you I want, and nothing more.
So, please come back and never go.


Here I am.

Here I am - this is me.
There's no where else on earth I'd rather be.

Back from holidaying at Kolkatta. A trip made once in every two years to meet my grandparents, this time I felt like a part of the city like never before. Like one amongst the locals. Although I can’t speak Bengali or even understand much, for that matter. But there was an unidentifiable link somewhere. One, that you’d have or, are supposed to have with your birthplace. I suddenly felt like what happened 25 years ago, is having its effect today. My birth in the city of Joy. Born amongst other bong babies, I’ve never really felt the bong connect interfere in my Malayali life. I’ve always been a Mallu and shall continue being one. In fact I’m proud to be one. But I wonder if it’s the bong-mallu similarities that make me feel so, or something else. Perhaps the plain fact that, I wus out on the streets more than ever before. I walked through narrow alleys and puddled footpaths. Dodged between roadside shops. And breathed in the aroma of the kaati rolls by the corner of the streets. Puchkas (bong slang fur paanipuris) and masala chaats were like energisers. Sat by the hugli river. Watched the sunset. Sailed under the howrah bridge.
I’m back home. Or am I? Have I left a part of me back there? Do I go back to collect it? Or just be?


As I wait.

Have I ever told u how crazy about you I am?
How madly in love, how happy with you I am?

Have I told you how butterflies do the dance everytime I hear your voice?
The way the ground begins to sink when you say you love me, my boy?

Have I told you, that my heart skips a beat and my voice refuses to flow?
Everytime you kiss me soft, making me wait for more?

Have I told you, the world comes to a halt and the winds touch my cheek?
Whenever you look into my eyes, like they've got something to speak?

No matter how many times I have, or the number of times I will.
It just doesn't seem enough coz there's a lot more to say still.

Like the world is there waiting.
And a whole life ahead.

But the world seems too small.
And a lifetime too less.

For me to hold my baby, so close to my heart.
And tell you that I love you.

I love you, no matter what.


Few of my favourite things!

Having considred the comments of all you beautiful people out there, I have decided to stop thinking. For a while. And take a break. I've decided to dream a bit. A bit more than I usally do. And talk about my dreams. And not just my worries. But yes, am sure i'll get back to my thinking self soon! And my blog, back to what it was started for. Thinking, expressing and yeah at times, cribbing.

But amidst all these, I somehow forgot about all the beautiful things around me. And all the beautiful things I dream about. I wonder why I only blog about my worries and not about my dreams? Or do I?. Coz I know why. It's simply because I blog, when I'm confused. When there seems to be a closed door in front of me. When I dunno where to turn. And blogging helps me decide.

The other day, I read a post on a friend's blog on how we tend to overlook some of the beautiful things in this world. It's so true. I mean, it was when I left a comment on the blog, that did I realise what he meant. And what I missed. I'm however not the kinds who'd forgo all the fun in my life for the serious stuff. I am in love with life. I dream. I have fun. And fun is the most important ingredient of my life.

So today, I'm gonna talk about a few of my favourite things. To start with, every time I watch an animation film with my neice, I wish I were a part of it. Like maughli or someone. Part of the jungle, where all the animals are friends. They sing, they dance. The beautiful lakes with rippling water. The dark green hills. And the trees laden with fruit. It's all so nice. No worries. No fear. How I wish I were in a world where everyone's happy for each other. Each one ready to help another. And it's all smiles around. Laughter everywhere. What a wonderful world! Sigh!! But I guess, that's why they're in cartoons. And not in real. But do you think, there'd be a world like that somewhere?

If not, a world full of babies. Babies who smile at you for no reason. Hold your fingers and don't let them go. Make sounds that you wish never changed. And talk to you, like they knew all what's going around. Pampers, Cerelac and feeding bottles accepted. :)

I've always dreamt of a loong drive through an empty road, in the rains. The windows of your car lowered slightly, and the rain drops kissing your nose gently. When the skies are all grey and white. And leaves of plants, bright and green. Winds blowing softly caressing your hair. And you drive towards nowhere, like in search of where the rains come from.

I wish I never reach a point, where I'll be left without my friends around. Life will be incomplete without them. Laughing with them. Crazking dumb jokes. Suddenly, life becomes so enjoyabale. So much more fun. You forget there's a world outside the coffee shop or the theatre.

How would it be, if the world were the way we wanted it to be? Would it be a nice, coz, happy place to be in? Or would we still be wishing for more? Well, we'd still be humans. And so, our thrist for more can never be quenched. I wouldn't be surprised if I dreamt of a different life, if I were in the world I dream of now.

But that's what keeps us going right? The hope for something better. The dreams that seem so real. And all the negatives that make us look forward to them. For, if they were no bad things, there would be nothing good either. Makes sense?