Something new!

What if? Will I? Again? Some questions that haunted me time and again before I decided on a shift to chennai. What happened three years back, was still there somewhere. Reminding me, warning me, and scaring me. And no way did I want history to repeat this time. I hoped for a new beginning. A new life. One that I’d never wish to leave. And today, with a broad smile on my face, I admit I’ve got it all.

It’s been over a month now in this city full of buzz. (Apologies hence, dear readers, for the gap.) And it’s almost like I’m in love. With the place. I wake up every day hoping to see a new day waiting for me. Ready to greet me with it’s warm smile. And embracing me comfortingly, when I feel lost. It’s been a different feeling this time. Like a bag full of surprises. Good ones. New faces. New places. New ideas. And most importantly, new feelings.

Life, as if, has suddenly taken a new turn. Making me want to explore more. Making me wonder, why not before? Like I’ve very little time and so many things to do. People, whom I wished I met earlier in life. And wish to know a lot more about, but wonder if I ever will. Your mind starts playing all sorts of games with you. When you’re alone, all by yourself, you begin to think on a lot of things you’ve never thought about before. You do a flashback of your life and wonder where it’s heading. And then you ask yourself, was that my life, or is this the beginning?

I wouldn’t deny there are times I feel like a stranger in my own life. Times when I’m unsure of what I want. Because if what I did until a month back is what my life’s all about, the life I lead now seems a lot more exciting. And I find myself asking me, hi! so where did you come from?

If I were given an option to create a new life for myself, I would like to pick and choose a little from my past and some from my present and a create beautiful future. My family, my friends from yesterday I can’t afford to loose and some people today, I’d love to treasure all my life. You feel you met them for a reason. They’re not just a passing cloud. And are here to stay. But then you look around and see, that you’ve run out of place. But you just can’t let them go. Now, what do you do?

Not everything’s changed after all. I’m still my same old confused self. With a hundred questions pondering over me. I’ve been told by someone that I shouldn’t think so much. Coz it shows all over my face. But sometimes when I think and I want to talk about it, but can’t, my face just helps.

I’m waiting. For my life to unfold as each day passes. Whatever has been, in the past one month, has only brought a smile on face. And am almost sure it’ll continue doing so. Provided some things don’t change. And some people, stay.


addict said...

u said so many things without actually telling them! thts called writing skills sari.
my pt of view is that life has to move on and i too have shared very similar experiences/ emotions/ feelings etc. some do stay... good for u. some don't... again good for u. thts optimism, thts life. u have to move on. so be happy... for all the coming months in ur life!

mirrorcracked said...

"I wouldn’t deny there are times I feel like a stranger in my own life. Times when I’m unsure of what I want. "

Truly amazing lines... You've got a wonderful blog here, i'm glad I ran into this...
I feel so many of the same things that you've mentioned, but I guess optimism is the best way to get thro those situations of insecurity...
Cheers! And Keep writing! :)

Pointblank said...

WOW!!! This was an awesome post! It says a lotta things. I cud relate to it. Honestly sari, one of ur best posts I must say! Its so simple, yet speaks volumes.. there is a lotta clarity of emotions... i think each line speaks a different theme, yet u maintained the tone... happy for u.. wud love to hear more :)

Divya said...

Great post Sari and yeah...Welcome to Chennai!!!