This is the story of a boy and a girl. May sound like just another love story to you. Which it definitely is. Because like in any other love story, the boy and the girl loved each other deeply. Like every other couple, they fought deciding who loved whom more. But unlike many other destinies, theirs took them far away from each other. And yet, their love grew with every passing day. They yearned to be in each others arms. And longed for the warmth of their love.
This is a real story. This is my story. On second thoughts, how can reality be a story? And why would I want to call this a story? This is my reality. Because, this is one of the very few real things that happened in my life. Everything about it was real. The feeling of my heart skipping a beat when I first met him was real. The feeling when I smiled seeing his number flash on my cell was real. The feeling, when I realized I was in love with him, was real. The feeling when we kissed for the first time was real. My love for him was real. He was real. Then what went wrong? I still don’t know. Nobody knows.
It was decided. That he’s the guy I wanted in my life. Probably it was the passion in his voice when he spoke to me. Or perhaps the love in his eyes when he looked at me. I couldn’t stop myself from loving him all the more, every time I spoke to him. There was nothing different in him. And yet there was something special about him. He never went on his knees to propose to me. He never ever took me out on a dinner date. Never sent me those cards with all mushy stuff written all over. He never got the boy to deliver roses at my place. He did nothing that a love struck Romeo would do. But everything about him made me go crazy. I was truly, deeply and madly in love with this guy. I still am.
Amongst all the stuff he never did for me, he had some really nice ways of making me feel special. Like kissing me goodbye and apologizing a hundred times for a busy day at work, and then leaving half day complaining to his boss about a bad headache, to spend the rest of the day with me. Calling me at 12 am, on my bday and reciting a poem he wrote for me. Writing one liner mails saying he loved me like mad. And pulling me against him and saying I was his dream come true, at a “tell me your dreams” game at the Spencer’s Mall.
For me, it was life on cloud 9. I was never in love with anyone so much before. Those who know me also know of the innumerable crushes I’ve had. But with him, I knew it wasn’t just one of those. There was a certain gentleness about him that drew me closer to him. It was as if he spoke romantically, even when he told me how upset he was when I didn’t answer his call the whole day. Even in the worst of his moods, I felt like hugging him tight and leaving myself to his control.
Fights never happened. Arguments died before they were started. All of which was possible thanks to his calm, patient and mature self. Which also taught me a lot. Although unintentionally, he had shown me how to take a relationship further. I’m sure if he’s reading this, he’ll disagree. But if not for him, I would have never known what a relationship meant and how to be happy in it. Thanks for that.
And then it all happened. One after the other. We saw all our dreams disappear. He was sent to the US for a project. I cried the whole night. I was sure however, that come what may; it’s him I’m going to spend the rest of my life with. And decided, be it a year or more, I’ll wait. And like we had known, nothing changed.
We spoke every day. There was hardly a day when he went to bed without wishing me good night. The only thing that changed was the timing. The only difference that came between us. I’d be at work, while he was preparing to hit the bed. I recollect the days when I’d say I’m busy at work, so we can’t talk. He’d wait for a couple of hours, assume that I’d be free and call me again. All this when it’s nearing sunrise in his part of the world. He’d keep himself awake only so that he could talk to me before sleeping. No matter how hard a day he had. And when time permitted, we would talk for hours together. Through the night at times.
Our love flourished. I thanked my stars for getting him. I knew that he was the best thing that happened to me. I knew that I could love no one like I loved him. I was the happiest human being in the world. I loved being in love with him. It was all so pure. Everything seemed so perfect. Nothing could ever go wrong. I knew I couldn’t be happier without him. And I knew he felt the same way.
I waited for him to come back. There were places I wanted to go with him. Where it was just the two of us. I dreamt of a life together with him. I knew he’ll make me his when he’s here.
He’s here today. But seems to have left everything else behind. He says, things are different. I tried hard to see what, but saw nothing. If there was something, why am I unable to see it? He has no answer to give me. I hate to believe it’s over. Everything seems to have come to a standstill. I don’t know where to go from here. What to do next.
I still love him. And I’m sure he loves me too. And I wonder why he’s doing this. It’s not the end for me. I can’t let it end this way. I can’t stop loving him just like that.
I don’t know where my life’s headed towards. I have absolutely no clue what’s in store for me. But there’s definitely one thing I’m sure about. He’s the love of my life. And will always be so. Nothing’s going to change. I’ve always loved him. And will always do.